
Today, January 31st, I feel very much calm and happy. I had breakfast with my War-N and that always makes for a good day!
As we sat and talked, I realized how unusual our relationship really was. I always hear people say how “marriage is hard” and I just don’t know why? I know we don’t have kids, so that is a different scenario. But, to have to “work so hard” to be with the one you love…well that just seems so strange! My Mother once told me that the more time I was married, the more time I would appreciate having to myself. Sorry, Momma. I don’t feel that way yet. I’ve been with War-N for 10 years now and I still feel the butterflies when he comes home. Whenever this “work” is supposed to come into play, please don’t tell me. I’ve avoided it thus far and we are both the better for it!
I think maybe people work too hard to make something work that shouldn’t. “They say” it’s all about sacrifice, compromise and all that jazz. Why? If you aren’t with someone who appreciates all of your quirks, methods and madness, why are you with them in the first place? And before you say something, no. This isn’t a ramble about how perfect my marriage is. I’m simply going through the thoughts in my head trying to figure out what a “normal” marriage is judged by. And I’m certainly not judging anyone else’s marriage. Just thinking out loud on my blog. That’s allowed, right?
I also feel like there’s a difference in “working things out” after an argument and “working to stay together”. All couples have arguments, no matter how big or small, and have to find a resolution. But, to have to constantly find a way to want to stay in the same house? That must be a terrible feeling. Well, I know. I used to feel that way long ago, before War-N. That brings me back to a comment War-N said this morning about how divorce can be a good thing. For example, in the 50′s and 60′s people just didn’t divorce. It was not done! It was looked at as a sign of giving up or abandoning your spouse and family. But, I have learned that it can also be a sign of giving up on yourself if you DON’T get a divorce. Complacency. How terrible!
I think this came about by watching the film “51 Birch Street”. A WONDERFUL film! It’s a documentary about Doug Block and his family. I’ll say no more than that, as it will ruin it for anyone else. I’ll simply say you MUST see his brilliant film and learn everything you can from it!! I certainly have. Not just as a viewer, but as a future film-maker.
So, I hope I am never “normal” (I haven’t been by any standard thus far!) and continue to live in a calm world with my non-normal husband. Life is what we make of it. If someone is always telling you to give in, compromise or not be yourself, where is the life in that? I’m very luck to have found War-N. It wasn’t an easy road at first, by ANY means.Obstacles everywhere. But, as our buddy Clete Francis said, “If we can get through this, we can get through anything!”. You said it, Clete!! I think that’s why we’re such a strong couple today. We learned what we were early on. We embraced it and never looked back!
I hope you, yes you, are happy and know who you are within yourself. That’s the key to finding true happiness!
Much Love to everyone!
Christa Belle











