Comments on: A Sense of Calm

By: Laura

Laura — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 13:34:48 +0000

This post has really struck a chord with me, too. I don’t understand people who don’t want to spend time with their spouse. That’s why I married mine – we want to spend as much time together as possible! I don’t think some people really think before they get married any more. It’s easy (relatively speaking) to get out of it, so they don’t face up to real issues ahead of time. Then later on they find that their values are quite different. That’s not something you can compromise on, so where does that leave you, right?

Everyone should take their time and enjoy a relationship for a long time before getting married. That’s just my opinion. That said, I knew right away I would marry Neil. But we knew each other 2 years before we married.

In my experience, having children can have a huge impact. Even the best marriage on earth can can be strained because parenting is incredibly hard. At least for us! Most of our disagreements and/or bad moods come from emotional exhaustion from trying to be good parents. It depends on your child, of course. Some kids are a piece of cake, I hear. Ha! But if your child had a health issue or learning disability, for example, the strain on even a great relationship is huge.

Guess what I’m trying to say is that it is all in the compatibility. You don’t have to be two people who are exactly alike, but you have to have similar values and some common interests to share. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Thanks for sharing about this. It really made me stop for a moment and appreciate my family!

By: Rodelion

Rodelion — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 10:53:28 +0000

How lovely to read how your marriage just ‘works’ I think a relationship should not exist by the grace of continuous struggle. That is wrong! There’s enough battle in life as it is, and a truthful, non-selfish love for the spouse bears no arms.

Thank you for sharing these words, which give hope. And indeed, you are by no standards normal

I love your music, and you too, as a friend. Peace unto you.

By: Way-N

Way-N — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 06:46:28 +0000

marriage is not about your feelings but about order in males and females world
nature wants to protect herself from chaos
people can live in very difficult situations and be themselves also in marriage

By: Bibo

Bibo — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 02:23:23 +0000

I too feel the same way, I think we just found the right match! We don’t have kids either but I’m not sure if that really matters. I’ve worked with people that seem to do whatever they can to avoid going home. From finding or creating extra work or going out to the bar with “the guys” every day after work. Maybe I’m just weird but I’d rather go home to be with my wife than work overtime or hang out at a bar.
I did spend close to 13 years with the wrong person thinking things would get better, luckily a coworker noticed this and encouraged me to meet my wife to be. 10+ years later we’re still together and happy.

Our local paper just printed a story about a faith-based initiative called “The Married for Life Club” through some organization called “Winning at Home” (just makes me think of the Revolting Cocks song “Viagra Culture” I must win!) where the couple makes a commitment to remain together. And since it is faith-based” they don’t want them getting divorced. Some couples were talking about how they were already fighting their 1st year of marriage. So basically be miserable but pretend all is well I guess.