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Summer is nearly at an end, thank goodness, and I am getting in that creative state of mind. With Autumn comes introspective thoughts, cozy days with endless pots of tea, kitties on the lap and a true sense of self. Though I love the garden in Summer, I also love it when it starts to fade and go to sleep. It speaks it’s last words in crimson, rust and golden hues abound. A gentle reminder that just because the leaves fall, the trees are not dead. They just need time to rest. We all do. So, with that last glorious, colorful display, my thoughts turn inward to writing and reading.

But, before the Autumn starts, the last bursts of bright summery colors make their way to the eye. Sometimes, they hold within their colorful sheath a surprise or two. I had cut a small bouquet of flowers a while back and I arranged it prettily on my kitchen windowsill. As I filled the kettle for an afternoon cuppa, I noticed a little fellow inside the flower gazing up at me. It was a tiny spider, holding onto the stamens of the Lily. Me being me, I quickly grabbed my trusty camera and took a picture of this interesting sight. Then, I released the flower, and spider within, back to the outdoors. Just because it made for a cool picture didn’t mean I wanted it to hang around right in front of me! Spiders do their best work outside, so that’s where he ended up. The flower stayed happily in a vase on the large wooden picnic table in the company of Rosemary pots in my back garden. Although I had put it outside, it was still quite charming and lovely to look at.

Recently, War-N and I had a wonderful surprise guest come to visit. Our dear friend Justin! In that brief visit, I got the chance to really sit down and chat with Justin as I never really had before. He is always a welcome visitor and we always enjoy his company. I felt I could truly be myself around him, as I am with War-N, and it just felt so nice to sit and talk to someone and not feel I had to do anything but be myself. It got me thinking that we (as a people) often try to do too much to be ourself around others. In doing that, we get nervous, bumble around and get all twisted in our own thoughts. Why do we feel such pressure to “entertain” and we feel we must apologize for just being our daily selves? I suppose part of it is upbringing and how we were raised to behave around others. I don’t know? But, I do know that as I get older I feel more and more like I know who I really am. I don’t make any apologies for that, or at least I’m trying not to any longer. I’m simply me and no one needs to know anything other than that. As I continue to dissolve my invisible wall of distrust and shame, I am walking more upright in my own skin. Thank you, Justin and War-N, for loving me for me… and enjoying my cooking! And thank you to all of my dear friends and family scattered all over the world for your kindness and understanding over the years. You never wanted me to be anything but me and I love you all for that! I’m catching up now and enjoying my newfound freedom.

So, I’ll withstand the last hot days of September and prepare for my retreat into my inner sanctum. I look forward to writing more of my “Days with Indigo” book (I’m up to 8 chapters now. Yay!), making skirts, writing music and just enjoying life in general. And on special mornings, I shall settle in, get all cozy and enjoy a few hours with my friend Victoria. I’m so glad she came back into production!!

Until next time, always be yourself.

Much Love,

Christa Belle